


to his every word (live in fear)

by ryebread16



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Explicit Language, F/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Season/Series 03, She essentially takes over the spot of Robin, Steve has a twin sister
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-04
Updated: 2019-09-04
Packaged: 2020-10-06 19:09:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20512034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryebread16/pseuds/ryebread16





	1. let my people go

I'd be lying if I said that people weren't confused about how I was part of Steve's family. Everyone always asked if I was adopted and I don't blame them, it would definitely be easier than telling everyone that we're actually twins. I'd also be lying if I said that my parents didn't care that I was so different. Honestly, they don't even really care for Steve all that much so it's no surprise that I'm the least desirable in their eyes. I wouldn't say they hate me but it doesn't feel right to say that they love me either. 

On the bright side, Steve is truthfully my best friend. He doesn’t care how different I am from him, he doesn’t care that he’s constantly getting me out of shitty situations and he really doesn’t care that people give us a weird look when we say we’re full blood siblings. We always joked that we’re more siblings than most people are to theirs because we’re twins. Steve fully embraces me and I fully embrace him, even though he acts more like a mother to me than our actual mother. 

Steve has dragged me, drunk off my ass, from countless parties. He made up excuses for me each of the _ three _ times that our father has found pot in my room over the last two years. He even sweet talked Hopper into letting me off when I got caught breaking into the lab back before Hop knew about the shit in this fucking town. I wouldn’t be surprised if he told me that he wasn’t going to bail me out anymore but I’ve saved his life, more than once, so I feel like he sees us as equal at this point. As long as he keeps being an idiot and running into the upside down with guns blazing -or should I say _ bat blazing- _I think I’ll be sure to always have someone to save my ass. 

In the last two years, I have _ adjusted _ a little bit. I wouldn’t say I’ve changed, I’ve just _ evolved. _ Steve has become den mom to his gaggle of middle schoolers and I’ve become a big sister _ I guess. _ I’m definitely not mother material, not like Steve is. I’m like the big sister that everyone wished they had while they were growing up, or at least that’s what Mike has said. I don’t agree with him too much because Nancy is pretty fucking bad ass but I guess she still parents them all more than I do. I’m always the getaway drivers, the person they come to with their dumb ideas and I always push them to pursue these dumb ideas and I won’t say that I’ve _ let _them drink alcohol that they stole from my fathers liquor cabinet but I definitely acted like I didn’t hear them breaking into it a few times.

Life has been pretty _ fucked up _ the last few years. Going into this fall, I didn’t think that shit was going to hit the fan quite as much as it has lately but I’ve never been one to really anticipate things the way I should. It was supposed to be better this year, Steve and I had graduated and the kids were going into high school _ finally _ so in theory they should be getting old enough to keep their shit together without Steve hovering too much. My brother and I had decided to take a gap year, much to our parents displeasure. They started to get behind the idea when Steve and I packed our shit one weekend and moved into Hoppers cabin, away from town and away from _ them. _

El had told us that she wanted us to live there if she wasn’t going to be. She wanted someone to watch it, just in case Hop came home and that's the first place he went. We couldn’t say no to her big brown eyes, all teary and _ sad _ so Steve and I packed our shit and moved in. We both secretly hoped that she was going to be right and one night Hop would stumble in one day _ early _in the morning, confused on why we were in the cabin and not El. 

The Byers had actually decided to stay. We got their entire house packed into boxes and tetris’d away in the truck. We all stood and watched as the moving van pulled out of the driveway, followed by Jonathan and Will in the car. They disappeared down the road while we all silently cried. We wordlessly got packed into Steve’s car and drove to the arcade. No one really wanted to play anything that night, we half-assed our way through a few different games before we decided to head back to the cabin, Nancy went home despite us urging her to stay with us that night but I could see it in her eyes that she just wanted to be alone. The boys rolled out some sleeping bags and Max took the couch. Steve and I sat at the dining room table, watching the kids silently curl up into their respective makeshift beds and sniffle themselves to sleep. Once we were sure that everyone was finally asleep, we went to our rooms and passed out. 

I woke later to lights in the driveway, I rubbed my eyes and sat up. I looked over at my clock, it was 4 am. I blinked a few times, trying to register what was going on and why someone was in our driveway. I didn’t have long to think before someone was banging on our door. I stood up immediately and got my ass out to the living room. I glanced at the kids, everyone was still asleep except for Max. She had always been a very light sleeper so I wasn’t surprised that she was woken up. She locked eyes with me and raised an eyebrow. I shrugged and walked to the door. I moved the curtain from the window, all I could really see was the silhouette of someone. I took a breath before leaning down and grabbing the bat from its resting place by the front door. I gripped the bat in my right hand and turned the knob with my left. I opened the door just enough to peer out.

“Nicole, put the fucking bat down, it’s Joyce.” 

That was all I needed to hear before I swung the door open. There stood Joyce, El and Will. I’m sure I looked like fucking idiot, standing there in my pajamas, holding a bat full of nails with wide eyes like I was some tiny doe staring at a car barreling down the highway. The door slamming against the wall was enough to startle the boys awake. I heard sleeping bags shift as I threw my arms around the three of them. I was sure I was done crying for that day but boy was I wrong. I started sobbing into Joyce’s hair as I gripped them like my life depended on it. Joyce chuckled and rubbed my back. I felt El and Will wiggle their way out of my arms and rush into the cabin. Everyone was up and moving around, hugging each other and crying all over again. 

Apparently they got to their first pit stop and decided that they needed to come home. Luckily Joyce’s house hadn’t sold yet, she had planned on coming back when there was finally a buyer but at the time, she just wanted out of this town and frankly, I didn’t blame her one bit. Jonathan had gone to the Wheeler's house to go be with Nancy. They showed up the next morning, all bright eyed and full of smiles. We made our way back to the Byers’ slowly after breakfast and started unpacking boxes. Normally I would roll my eyes and try to find a way out of shit like that but Joyce was the closest thing I have ever had as a mom so I was hellbent on getting her shit unpacked because I was so glad to have her _ home. _

It’s been a few months since then. Will was re-enrolled in school and was able to start with everyone else. El continued to stay at home while Joyce was at work. Jonathan and Nancy spend a good amount of their free time with her, working on some of the things that she would be doing at school with the kids. Joyce still felt that we should keep El out of the public eye for a little bit longer, at least until their whole Fourth of July _ fiasco _was behind us. 

Everyone hearts were still so heavy from that night. El was consistently still trying to find Hopper, trying to see if he was at least still _ alive. _Joyce didn’t tell her to stop, we all knew that she was hoping that one day El would find him. Max was essentially living with Steve and I at this point. Her mom had left Neil after Billy had died, Neil didn’t have anywhere to aim his fist after Billy was gone. He started being more and more verbally and emotionally abusive to Max and Susan and she finally grew some fucking balls and left his ass. Max begged her mom to find a house somewhere in town and her mom said that she would until one morning Max woke up and her mom was gone. She had apparently found a house someone outside of town and promised Max that she would be back to grab her soon but that was months ago now. Max refused to stay with Neil and he didn’t really have any reason to keep her in his house anymore so she left. 

She bounces between staying at the Byers’ house and the cabin. Most of her belongings are at the cabin but she likes spending her time with El. Steve gives her his room most nights, he’s developed a habit of sleeping on the couch, so much so that he actually sleeps on it even with Max is with El. I don’t think Steve sleeps much anymore anyway. I hear the TV on nine nights out of ten and that one odd night that it’s not on, I hear Steve panic in his sleep and startle himself awake. I usually find him asleep when I’m getting up for work at 6, I assume he’s only able to fall asleep when it’s not so dark outside. I just throw a blanket over him and make myself my coffee before heading out the door. Luckily Steve had found a job that he doesn’t need to be up _ super _early for or else I don’t think he would ever sleep. 

Tonight when I walked in the door I found Max and Steve making dinner. I laughed as I put down my bag on the bench next to the door. Steve looked over his shoulder and smiled at me.

“Max was insisting that we make dinner tonight because _ apparently _she’s tired of eating TV dinners and I don’t really blame her.” I nodded at him and walked into the bathroom. I turned the tap on and let it run for a second. I looked at myself in the mirror, the circles under my eyes looked darker than normal today. I splashed the water on my face, making an effort to at least get some of my makeup off. I dried off my face and walked to my bedroom. I went into my closet and tried to find something that didn’t smell like the diner when I stumbled across a jean jacket. 

I felt the fabric between my fingers for a second, taking time to remember the night that he gave me this jacket. The creak of my bedroom door snapped me out of my thoughts. I looked over to see Max leaning against my door frame.

“I miss him too.” She said quietly I sighed and dropped the sleeve and grabbed the sweatshirt in front of it. I tugged it over my head and looked at her. She was the only one that really knew what was going on between Billy and I. She had caught us one night when we snuck back to their house after one of Tommy’s parties. We were sitting on the floor of his room, drunkenly giggling and lazily kissing each other. We were supposed to try to be quiet because we couldn’t risk Neil finding us, Max had just happened to be up talking to Lucas on her walkie when she heard us laughing. Billy had taken Max back into her room after she had found us. I heard them whispering and I just always assumed he was threatening her to keep quiet. Turns out she was asking him about what was going on and he had admitted to her that he might have been falling for me. Of course it was followed by him getting in her face and telling her to keep her mouth shut.

I didn’t hear about the conversation until a month after Billy had died when I let Max drink with me one night. We were laying on my bed when she started talking about Billy. Apparently he had a soft spot for her. I didn’t doubt a word she was saying, I was one of the few to see that side of Billy so I knew it existed. We kept it to ourselves and the jacket was shoved into the back of my closet, only to be pulled out on the bad nights which happen more frequently than I would like to admit. I wasn’t one to show my emotions often. Steve and Max were really the only ones that ever saw what was going on behind the walls I had built. I trusted them the most. 

I trusted Billy too. 

“It fucking sucks, Max.” I said, rubbing my eyes, trying to make it look casual but she saw past that. She nodded and sat on my bed. 

“I know it does. He might not have been my real _ brother _but still hurts like he was.” I nodded and looked back to the jacket. I pushed it back into the corner where it lives and shut the closet door. 

“I think dinner is ready!” Steve yelled from the kitchen. I gave a confused look to Max and mouthed “_ he thinks?” _to her, she laughed and pushed herself off of my bed and walked into the kitchen. Steve had tried his best to set the table for us, putting our dinner in the middle of the table. It seemed to be some sort of pasta concoction made with things that he found in the cupboards and fridge. It wasn’t terrible, it was actually kind of good. He said his inspiration was “cheeseburger but in pasta form.” 

Later, once Max was fast asleep in Steve’s room, we cleaned up the kitchen. While Steve was doing his best with scrubbing out the pot, I was putting away the clean bowls. I shut the cabinet and turned around to lean against the counter. I looked over at Steve, he was so concentrated that the tip on his tongue was sticking out of the corner of his mouth. 

“Hey Steve, I need to tell you something.” He continued to scrub the pot but nodded and grunted in response 

“Um.. So I probably should’ve told you this a while ago but I know you had a pretty bad track record with him but-”

“You and Billy. I know, I’m not blind.” He finally finished cleaning the pot and had started drying it off. I stood there for a second before nodding and pushing myself off the counter. I plopped down on the couch. 

“When did you find out?” I asked, genuinely curious.

“Back in the spring, I found his jacket in the back of my car after you took it while yours was in the shop.” I remembered leaving it in his car while in the middle of fourth period and I snuck out of class to get in and put in my locker, I always assumed I was able to get it out of there without Steve seeing it but I guess I was wrong. 

“Listen, just because him and I weren’t _ besties _doesn’t mean you had to keep your relationship from me. I’m sure he was a fucking gentleman towards you,” his voice was thick with sarcasm. 

“I wouldn’t say gentleman but he was definitely… _ different _with me.” I sighed, picking at the blanket laid over the back of the couch. Steve walked over to the couch and sat next to me. 

“Like I said, I don’t doubt that he was good to you. The guy had a fucked life, he had some issues but I know that everyone has a good side somewhere. I mean the guy fucking _ died _for us.” I flinched slightly at his words. He noticed and leaned his head on my shoulder. We sat in silence for a few minutes. 

"Did you love him?” Steve sat up and twisted his body towards me, laying his arm along the back of the couch and tucking one of his legs under him. I looked at the wall, trying to look through it really. I took a breath and looked back towards my brother.

“I don’t know. I think I could’ve if we had more time, maybe.” He nodded and ran his fingers through his hair. Wordlessly, he stood up and turned the TV on. We laid there long enough to both fall asleep. Steve had his legs thrown over mine and his head lolled over the edge of the arm rest. I curled up in the corner, hogging the blanket. 

A few hours later I woke up to Max shaking my arm. My eyes flicked open and I sat straight up, tossing Steve’s legs off of me in the process. Steve snorted and his head snapped up, eyes half closed still.

“Fuck Max, whats up?” I said, rubbing my eyes. 

“El thinks Billy might be alive.” She said, her words rushed and shaky. I looked at her, frozen. I should see her while body was shaking.

“What the hell are you talking about, Max?” Steve said, his voice still thick from sleep.

“El was trying to find Hopper and she thinks she found Billy in the process. She called me on the walkie just like 5 minutes ago. She thinks he’s being held at that lab that Joyce found. I think he might’ve actually lived and when the fucking russian guys came through before the cops showed up, they grabbed him. I think they have him.” Steve grabbed her arm, trying to calm her down a little bit.

“Max, there's no way he could be alive. We _ watched _him die.” Steve said slowly. “What would they even want with him if he was still alive? He wouldn’t be connected to the Mindflayer anymore, its dead too.”

“I-I don’t know but it’s something! He could still be alive.” Her words turned to a whisper at the end. I looked back up at her.

“You’re right, it’s something but please, _ please _do not get your hopes up. It’ll just get my hopes up and I… I can’t, Max. I can’t lose him all over again.” She looked back at Steve, maybe she was hoping to get a different reaction out of him. He nodded and fell back into the couch. I stood up and made my way to my bedroom, turning off the TV in the process. I shut the door behind me and heard Max huff and do the same with Steve’s bedroom door. I went to the closet and opened the door. I reached into the corner and grabbed at the denim sleeve. I yanked it off of its hanger and pulled the jacket to my chest. My breath caught in my chest and tears started to flow down my cheeks. I went back to my bed and laid down gently, still holding the jacket to my chest, I inhaled trying to get even the smallest bit of his fading scent from the fabric. 

“Please, El. Please don’t be wrong.” 


	2. rule the midnight air

I didn’t sleep at all. I stayed up the entire night thinking about Billy, alone in a lab. Not knowing what happened to him or what happened to all of us. I didn’t want to allow myself to think that he was possibly still alive but I couldn’t help it. I told Max that she wasn’t allowed to get her hopes up but here I was, clutching his jacket to my chest, getting my fucking hopes up. I don’t think Max slept much either. I could hear her whispering in her room the entire night. No doubt trying to get El to keep looking for Billy and find out if he was truly alive or not.

Around six I finally pulled myself out of my bed and hung the jacket back up in the closet. I didn’t shove it as far back into the corner has I usually did this time. I don’t know if that was because I was hoping that I would have a reason to pull it out soon, who knows. 

I shuffled into the bathroom and put my hands on either side of the sink, leaning my head down to rest against the medicine cabinet. I sighed and turned the tap on. I rushed through my normal routine, skipping a shower today. I really didn’t feel like putting a lot of effort into myself these days. 

Once I was as ready as I was going to be for the day, I walked out into the living room where I found Steve already awake, or maybe still awake from hours before. I waved at him and wandered to the kitchen to get some coffee that Steve had no doubt already made. 

I sat down onto the couch next to him, careful not to spill my coffee that I filled too high. I stared into the dark liquid, not really in the mood to drink it. I don’t know what I was looking for in my mug, maybe some fucking hope and a little energy to just get me through the next few days. 

Steve pushed his shoulder into mine, making me look up from my coffee. 

“We need to wake Max up so she can get ready for school.” I nodded, not making any moves to stand up. Steve rolled his eyes but smiled. 

“I guess  _ I  _ will get her up.” I smiled back at him, still not saying a word as he stood and walked to his room. I focused back to my coffee, taking a drink. I heard Steve knock on the door and open it slightly. 

“Uh, Nic? She’s not here.” 

“What the fuck do you mean shes not here? I heard her talking like an hour ago, I assumed that she had finally fallen asleep.” I put my mug down on the coffee table and quickly made my way over to the door frame. 

Sure enough, Max was gone. I groaned and leaned my head against the wall. I can’t say I was too surprised that she was gone. I was a little frustrated, I thought we had made it clear to her that she didn’t need to sneak out of here ever, she could always tell us where she was going and not fear that we would get upset.

“I bet she went to see El.” Steve said, stepping back and shutting the door. I nodded and went back to the couch. I flopped down on my back and threw my arms over my eyes.

“I’ll go over to the Byers’ house before work and make sure that's where she is. We can panic later if she's not there but right now, lets just assume shes passed out on Joyce’s couch with El.” Steve was starting to sound more and more like a mom has the days went on. I groaned in agreeance and rolled off of the couch onto the floor. Steve laughed at me and mumbled something about how dramatic I am. 

An hour later, I was at work. Serving inconsiderate asshole mediocre food. I had a smile plastered on my face as I collected my shitty tips, going back into the kitchen and dropping the smile from my face. Our cook laughed at me while he fried the bacon on the cook top. I glared at him slightly and leaned against the wall. 

“Bad day?” He asked, keeping his eyes on the meat. 

“When have I had a good day lately?” I shot back. He chuckled in response, throwing some bacon on to a plate and tossing the plate onto the counter next to him. 

I hated this job since the day I started. I didn’t mind the people I worked with and I loved whenever Steve would bring the kids in after AV club got out before they would head to the arcade but the rest of the job was shit. Especially today knowing I would be working a split and my evening would be here, closing the diner after dark. I didn’t have a fear of the dark anymore. I used to when I was younger but after knowing what was out there, I wasn’t scared of it anymore. I’ve come face to face with hell itself at this point in my life and I couldn’t care less about dark streets and alleyways anymore. 

I went through the motions of my day. Introducing myself to customers and learning that at least 30% of them are all named “coffee”, having somewhat decent conversations with some of the regulars, collecting my tips from the people who actually bother to and dodging the random pickup lines that the middle aged men in this town like to throw at me. What can I say? Being a waitress is glorious. 

I said goodbye to the cooks on their way out, making sure that the back door was locked behind them. I ran up to the front and grabbed the cash out of the drawer and started counting it down and logging everything into our folder in the back office. 

When I finally got through counting the money, I left the office and locked the door behind me. I headed to the back to grab my sweatshirt and bag when I heard the bell on the front door open. I froze in place, I could’ve sworn I locked the front door before I started counting the cash. My eyes swept the kitchen, trying to find something that I could protect myself. Of course, most of the damaging kitchen supplies had been packed away by the cooks before they had left for the night.

“_Shitshitshit--_” I heard heavy feet moving around in the front dining room. I ducked down slightly, hoping that I wasn’t visible through the window. I scanned the kitchen one more time, my eye fell onto a metal tenderizer in the corner of the line cooks counter. I dropped closer to the ground and all but crawled towards the counter. 

I heard someone talking and someone answer back, of-fucking-course there was more than one person. I silently prayed that it was just the cooks coming back in because they forgot something. 

Yes, I do actually know better after living in this town but a girl can hope,  _ right?  _ I listened as closely as I could to see if I could make out a few words. Most of it was too muffled for me to truly understand. I heard steps come closer to the kitchen as I edged a little closer to the counter that held my only weapon. The person started talking, louder this time because of them being in close proximity to me.

_ Fuck.  _

Russian. 

I fucking knew it, I can’t have just a few weeks of freedom and sanity in this god forsaken town. I finally was close enough to the counter at this point. I stood up slightly, trying to peer out the window that faced the dining area. I could really only see shadows cast from the few lights that were still on. I reached up to grab the meat tenderizer and-  _ Fuck!  _

I knocked the fucking this off of the counter. It crashed to the floor with a loud  _ clang.  _ I heard both of the men fall quiet. I held my breath hoping, like a fucking idiot, that maybe they would think it was just some equipment making a noise, but  _ no. _ I heard footsteps rushing towards the kitchen. I stood up completely and booked it to the back door. I heard the kitchen door swing open just as I managed to yanked open the back door and step out, pulling it closed behind me. I ran through the dark to where my car was. 

Here I am, fucking 19 and running away from goddamn  _ Russian spies  _ without a weapon. What the  _ fuck _ has my life become? I ripped open my car door, thank god I left it locked even though Steve always harps me about locking it because someone could steal my shit, like that's the  _ worst  _ thing that could happen to me. 

I dug through my bag, trying to find where I put my keys. I looked back quickly just in time to see the two guys coming busting out the back door. My hand finally found my keys, I let out a breath while shoving my keys into the ignition and started my car. I looked in my rear view mirror for one second as I backed up, I could see their faces a little bit better in the red glow of my tail lights. They started to run towards my car as I shoved my car back into gear and floored it out of the parking lot. 

I watched them disappear in my rear view mirror as I drove off. My heart was going a million miles an hour, I gripped my steering wheel so hard that my knuckles turned white. I didn’t know if I should be trying to lose them a little bit better or if I would be safe to go home. I decided that I would drive around for a little bit and hopefully they wouldn’t be following me.

Once I had driven through the streets downtown back and forth a few times, I decided to head to Byers. Figuring that at least someone would be there that could explain why I was being stalked by these fuckers again. 

I parked my car behind Jonathan's and cut the engine. I put my forehead against the top of my steering wheel and tried to breath in and out a few times, feeling like I hadn’t really paid attention to my lungs in the last half hour. 

A tap on my window broke me from my focus. I looked up and saw El’s face looking a little worried. I let out a small chuckle and open the door. 

“Hi dear. I figure I would find you here.”

“Are you hurt?” She asked, her eyebrows knit together with worry.

“I’m fine. I mean-- no, not really. I’m okay physically but uh.. Can I come inside please?” I scrubbed my hands across my face and looked up at El face. She moved out of the way as a way to say okay. I stepped out of my car, threw my arm across her shoulder and put my head on top of hers. I noticed that she had gotten tall enough that I wouldn’t be able to do this many more times. I sighed as we walked towards the house.

Joyce had opened the door before we even got to it. She had stepped out of the way to let us in. The boys were all sitting in a circle around the floor, Max was sitting on the couch behind them, her leg thrown over a pillow that was laying on the middle cushion. All eyes were on us as we walked into the living room. I let go of El and let her walk back to couch where she plopped down next to Max. I threw my bag down next to the door and kicked off my shoes. I still felt eyes on me, I slowly turned around and noticed that everyone was still staring at me. 

“Um hi? Who died?” I asked, probably not the best thing to say to this group of people but oh well, “Is Steve here? Wait _ fuck _ \-- Max. Have you been here all day? You weren’t in your room this morning and Steve said he was going to run over here to make sure that this is where you went. I thought I told you that you-” 

“Nicole, shut it for a second.” Mike cut me off, rolling his eyes slightly. I shut my mouth that was still hanging open. I widened my eyes and crossed my arms.

“I found him.” El said. I blinked at her a few times. 

“Steve?” I asked dumbly. Mike rolled his eyes again and put his face in his hands. Max shifted on the couch and kicked Mike in the shoulder.

“No, Nic. She found Billy.” Max said, looking me dead in the eyes. I stood there for a second, switching my focus to each of their faces at least once. I settled my eyes on El’s last. I slowly make my way towards the circle. I sit down between Dustin and Lucas, who both shift away from me slightly, I don’t really understand why they did. Maybe they felt like I was going to freak out and start flipping shit around the room.

“Okay…” I said quietly, “I know Max said that you thought you found him but you.. You really did?” My voice broke slightly at the end of my words. El nodded, not saying any more. We sat in silence for a few more seconds before I nodded. I sucked in a breath and looked back at Max for a second. It finally registered that it looked like she had been crying. I immediately thought the worst.

“So he really is dead.. Right?” I asked so quietly it was almost a whisper. El shook her head.

“No. He’s alive.” Her words caused my breath to hitch in my throat. Tears started to well up in the corners of my eyes. I looked over at Max who was smiling ear to ear, tears slipping from her eyes as well. 

“You’re fucking lying. We watched him die, we had a  _ funeral. _ ” 

“No, we thought we watched him die and yeah there was a funeral but Max was never allowed to see the body to actually ID it. It could’ve been some random person they burned up and gave us their ashes to keep our mouths shut.” Mike said, voice covered in annoyance. I saw Will elbow him out the corner of my eye. 

“So you’re telling me, Billy didn’t  _ actually  _ die even though we all saw it with our own fucking eyes and he’s actually alive somewhere?” 

“That's exactly what we're saying.” Max said, slipping off of the couch and moving toward the circle. She looked at me and nodded. I looked back towards El who still hadn’t said much about the matter. She nodded as well.

“I saw him. He’s being held in a hospital. He’s alive.” Silence fell over the circle once more. The kids kept looking back and forth from each other and me. I didn’t really know what to say. Part of me was still holding myself back from getting too excited just in case El was wrong but  _ hell--  _ when has El ever been wrong? 

“Well.. What a fucking night I guess? Between this and the Russians I-”

“ _ Excuse me- The Russians?!”  _ Joyces’s voice rang out from the kitchen. She came around the corner and gave me a wide eyed stare with her hands on her hips. I gave her a nervous smile and shrugged my shoulders.

This is my fucking life I guess.


End file.
